7 week until the NYC ½

2 weeks ago I slipped on ice walking home

13 (and counting) days off from running  

5 (and counting)  workouts missed

I started off this cycle testing my fitness at Tannenbaum 10k running a 31:28. Since then I have put in 5 weeks of quality work and just as we were getting to the real specific and focused part of the build I slipped.

There are plenty of inspiring examples of athletes that have cross trained through an injury and come back strong. Their stories are motivating and inspiring and they seem to overcome adversity with such poise. But I don't know if that's me. 

Being negative doesn’t help anything but I am not going to give anyone the false impression that I am enjoying cross training or that I am optimistic about the outcome.

I don’t spend as much time in the pool or on the elliptical as I would running and I sure as heck don’t get the same quality workouts that I need.

My approach for NYC was the same as  Chicago. All in. Focused. Unwavering. The problem is… when I am on the elliptical and in the pool I am not all in. My mind is flooded with doubts. I feel myself slipping farther away from my goal and instead of asking myself “How Bad do you want it?” I am asking myself  “Is it worth it?”

I am incredibly disappointed in myself for not having the mental fortitude to remain unshakable and to carry on with unwavering determination.

Will I be back to running by the end of the week? Or by the end of next month? At what point do I pull the plug on NYC? I will likely be able to run by then… But probably not fit enough to break 68. Would I be happy going into a race knowing that I am not 100% prepared? Why don’t I just pick another race? Is my effort on the elliptical the same as when running? How hard is everyone else working? Don’t think of anyone else.